resourcefulness

resourceful.


yup. i am that. its one more thing i can teach my children (i am taking stock of why i deserve to be a parent again...this waiting game is known to make your mind play tricks on itself).

miracles.


yup. i am a beneficiary of those. one more thing i can witness to my children.

CABBAGE PATCH DOLL UPDATE 

if you read the last blog post from me. i spoke of a favorite doll of my childhood. how prized and precious she was to me. a source of absolute love. ok, i am sure it wasn't reciprocated-she is a doll after all. but, she let me "love" her.


i was reminiscing with my mother after the last post. i accused her of always thinking the dolls were "homely" and thanking her for getting my pammy laurice. she told me a part of the story, i did not remember.

i have to go back and ask her who she battled for in a Bradlees Department store over, if it wasn't pammy's sister.

according to her, we were hunting for a doll for my sister as i already owned one(pammy laurice). the store we went to had a ticket system. this wasn't the first store we had gone to. she had heard there was a store in another city that just had a shipment come in. the line wrapped around the store like what you see at Christmas black friday sales. my mother didn't think we'd get a ticket at all, but sure enough we finally baby-stepped it into the store, to the customer service counter, and we were all led into a back room containing the dolls. as my sister searched for her perfect match, i perused the shelves and found one that looked just like my beloved pammy, only with braids instead of pig-tails.

i ran up to my mother with that look. she explained to me that each customer was only allowed one ticket good for one doll. it was my sister's turn to get a doll. BUT i NEEDED a sister for pammy!

my mom then made me a deal, she said if i could find someone to get a ticket for me, she would give me the money to go through the line by myself.

oh i can tell you that my ten year old mind was formulating a plan right away. i accept your challenge mother!

although i remember none of this, by her account, i walked up to a pregnant woman and proceeded to plead my case in my usual million words or less fashion yes i've been like this since childhood).

as she told me this, i thought, "what a brilliant kid i was!" i was proud of myself for thinking about who was the most likely person to help me accomplish this feat.

well, this victim pregnant woman took pity on one very dramatic, skinny, dark eyed, dorothy-hamill-bowl- haircut, pixie of a girl. i got my ticket, paid for my new friend for pammy, and was, as i imagine, very proud of myself.


hmmmm... i last likened my adoption experience, to adopting the dolls. i hadn't planned on getting pammy a friend. the opportunity came up. i felt love again and had to have more. i didn't know how i was going to make it happen, i just knew i was.

i am well aware that my Chinese born children are not dolls, but in a very real and grown up way, the story repeats itself. life imitated life.

i am adopting two children and i don't know how i am going to do it, but i am resourceful. apparently i have been for the last 28 years.

HERE'S WHERE I GET TO THE MIRACLES PART

last week, i had to complete a financial listing of all we had paid for and all the fees left to pay for the adoptions. i nearly fell out of my chair when i saw how much it was really going to cost. you see, i was stupid and really naive when i thought we could adopt two. i grossly misjudged the totals. gulp!

HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THIS, LORD? I BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME TO DO THIS, BUT HOW? WE HAVEN'T THE MONEY. PLEASE PROVIDE JEHOVAH JIREH. HELP ME TO BE WORTHY TO RAISE THESE GIRLS. HELP US TO BRING THEM HOME.

at church i explained my predicament to my friends. they have all adopted. they know the reality of it. one dear friend said that i wouldn't have said "yes" to God if i had known back in the beginning the costs(not just the monetary ones either i imagine). she was right, i might not have. i should have been too scared. good thing i was just dumb. because now my family is walking a Faith i never imagined existing.

a few nights ago i thought i would take some time to catch up on my blog reading. i click on the first one on the list(my friend B's blog list) that is the newest posts and go from there. what i read on my friend D's blog shook my world. http://bygracewearesix.blogspot.com/ she posted about my family. she technically plagiarized a post from our friend J's blog. http://morethanwecanimagine.blogspot.com/ anyway, both of them have an APB out for the rest of the funds we need. they posted what is called a "Chip In" feature on their sites. anyone can go to these blogs and donate money to bring X and B home from China. they said some really beautiful things about my family too. i started sobbing immediately and praising God for his provision. He has provided me with wonderful friends. He has provided them with the ability to fund raise for us. He has provided us all with a perfect example of the Body of Christ in action.

THANK YOU MOST MAGNIFICENT GOD. FOR YOUR LOVE, YOUR GOOD GIFTS, THE FRUITS OF OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU, AND THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE DISCIPLES.

i know not how everything will turn out. i don't know if He intends for my family to raise the entire amount still needed, but i do know that i feel SO LOVED. i will not worry or fret. i rest quietly in Him.

thank you to my dear friends who mean so much to me. thank you family for your support.

you are welcome to share this "Chip In" with your family, friends, church, email, facebook, etc. we won't be turning down any love! promise.

happy thirteen sweetheart

i ache. i am missing a big milestone in my daughter's life. she is thirteen today(well, if you can believe the orphanage). she was found on october 6, 1998 with a note pinned to her chest outside an elevator in a Chinese hospital.

either she really was born on october 1 or she is a cabbage patch kid. remember on those ugly cute 80's doll's adoption certificates? how each one was born on the first of a month? who knew when i begged for one of those dolls...er...who am i fooling? it wasn't "one" of those dolls. it was a specific red haired pig-tailed girl named pammy laurice "born" on september 1 in a cabbage patch. i saw her in the store, fell in love, and hoped with every ounce of my being that my mother would cave and buy me the doll she referred to as homely.

i begged for that particular one. i picked her out. i coveted her. and i received her on my 10th birthday. oh what a joyous day.

i eventually went on to adopt another red headed pig-tail-braided doll. a child needs a sibling, right? i can't remember her name for the life of me. (sorry mom, i know you "battled" another woman in a bradlees department store toy aisle for said doll)

soon after, i grew up and traded my dolls for lip gloss and nail polish.

funny to think my life is repeating this scenario now. i have chosen two more children to adopt. i saw my ten year old's picture, fell in love, and have spent countless hours begging God to allow/trust me to be the one to love and raise her. (past posts will bring you up to speed on how our thirteen year old came into the picture)

it feels a bit like life imitating art. like a pinnochio story. BUT these girls aren't red headed-yarn haired-xavier roberts buttocks signed-bundles of joy. these girls weren't magically born and harvested from a vegetable patch. these girls aren't playthings. they aren't sitting on a shelf waiting to be a birthday gift.

these girls are real orphans. they have hard stories. they have hurts. they have been waiting. growing older each day. they need a family-FAST. they are real. forgotten. ignored. unloved by a cruel world who has turned their eyes from the unbelievable need and plight of the orphan. over 150 million children worldwide waiting for a home.

PLEASE GOD. FIND ALL THESE ORPHANS HOMES. LOVE. PARENTS. ALLOW ME TO BE BLESSED BY  A COUPLE(OR TWENTY) OF THESE CHILDREN.  IF IT IS YOUR WILL, FILL OUR HOME WITH CHILDREN, LOVE, LAUGHTER, AND HEALING ALL FOR YOUR GLORY.

i want them. i love them. i ache with missing my Chinese children, whom i've yet to meet. i am impatient wondering why it takes so long to bring them home. it is killing me to know i cannot hold my teenager and whisper into her hair how much i love her and am proud of my big girl.

what my cabbage patch kids taught me: 
i learned how to be a good mommy(albeit forgetful of names) by feeding them, dressing them, changing their diapers, putting them to bed, etc.
i learned that i wanted to have a family when i grew up.
i learned to have a momma bear mentality. (pammy was the first thing i asked for after a fire broke out in my bed in the middle of the night while i was sleeping in it.)
i learned what it is to love someone whom you've yet to be united with.
i learned about adoption.
i learned that we often get what we ask our parents for...including God the Father.

but these girls are real and i promise not to forget their names and tire of playing with them. EVER. i promise to not let another birthday go by without telling them how much i love and value them. i promise to cherish them and be thankful everyday of my life.

GOD THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO RAISE THESE GIRLS. PLEASE WATCH OVER  X ON HER BIRTHDAY. HOLY SPIRIT LET HER SENSE YOUR PRESENCE. LET HER KNOW YOU ARE AT WORK PREPARING A FOREVER FAMILY FOR HER. SPEED US ALONG THIS PROCESS. JESUS, EASE HER SUFFERING AND HEAL HER SOUL. I ASK THIS AND ALL THINGS THROUGH YOU.

so precious beautiful daughter of mine waiting so patiently in china. happy thirteenth birthday. i love you and i am proud of you. i am counting the minutes until i can hold you. love, your momma bear.