Saturday, April 30, 2011

Panic Peace and Provision

and her name will be ...

whispered in my heart this afternoon.

earlier in the week...PANIC

WHAT US ADOPT?  we haven't the money  why mess with a currently stable family? we like our lives the way it is-easy  we will have to sacrifice even more what will people say? what if the agency says no? it will be hard  it will be emotional  everything will change  who will watch the kids when we go pick up our daughter? is she healthy? does she want an american family? how long will it take? where will we get the money? what if our hearts gets broken? why do this?

because God told me to...that's why!

can i really do this? then i spent two hours last night reading the entire by grace we are six blog. a mutual friend said we had similar circumstance, so i thought i'd read their story. thanks d! for sharing and encouraging. i cried i freaked i prayed.


He placed this space in my heart and a quiet whisper in my mind long ago. i know we are supposed to have more in our family. i feel it in every fiber of my being. today i called out His name JEHOVAH JIREH! and i heard and i'm paraphrasing "yes Jiara is her name" 

how did i get from panic to peace?


i heard a quiet whisper telling me we would have another child to love a few weeks back. THANK YOU LORD FOR SPEAKING TO ME

pieces have been falling into place...we are closing on our refinance in less than two weeks. the same mortgage that we were told was impossible to underwrite less than a year ago. THANK YOU FOR FINDING A WAY LORD

my family has been very generous with their gifts, time, and support. THANK YOU LORD FOR FAMILY

S has been working like a madman and i got a ton of piecework to do for Lollipop Kids- yesterday i got a paycheck for $186 (less our tithe) to start our official adoption fund...$24,833 left to raise. THANK YOU FOR WORK LORD

my friend J shared the story of Issac and Abraham, which i needed to hear again.

our friends- the G family and the M family very recently adopted children...thank you for being courageous and faithful. THANK YOU FOR ROLE MODELS LORD

when i looked up the name jiara online, i found that Jehovah Jireh means The LORD Will Provide. i knew i would change the spelling, so while looking up meaning of JIA, i found that it means "home" in chinese. THANK YOU LORD FOR OBVIOUS SIGNS

when i asked my girls if they'd like a sister(two years ago they said no way) they said yes. A told me she'd have to change- i.e. work on being a nicer sister and was willing to actually change to benefit another. E asked me if Target would exchange her birthday gift cards for cash to add to the adoption fund. THANK YOU LORD FOR OUR AMAZING AND LOVING DAUGHTERS 

my husband is excited about adoption THANK YOU LORD FOR MY ROCK

every fiber of my being trusts He will provide all things. i don't know if at the end of this journey we will have a third daughter living with us or not. what i do know is this...

His plan is to prosper us and only He knows the plan.

He asked me to do something and i will obey and trust in my Father no matter the outcome.

there are more daughters of my heart out there.

i am certain that this ride is going to be hard, frustrating, scary, exciting, happy, joyful, and blessed. we will be forever changed. 

above all else, this i know....

Jehovah Jireh- The LORD Will Provide