i have gone through a fire and come out on the other side with peace and wisdom. i have learned so many things about myself. i tend to have a low self esteem, but tonight i am proud of myself and the woman that the Lord is shaping me to be...like a bonsai tree. He is pruning and trimming my soul to make it healthy and able to bear good spiritual fruit. i feel lovely. i can't say that i have experienced that feeling many times if ever.
i am a NEW creation.
i am excited about sharing my wisdom with my children someday. i have new skills to teach them.
i am also excited for when God calls me home. before, i always worried when i thought of death. i would pray that God wasn't through with me yet. i was not done. i was too dirty and soiled to stand before Him.
news flash!!!! i will always be in beggars clothes before Him, but now i understand and accept His vast love. His forgiveness. His Grace. His promise.
i eagerly await the day i get to be near my Heavenly Father. i am ready.
for the sake of my children i hope He has plans for me still. i hope He has work yet for me to do for joyous i will sing His praises and answer His call all the remaining days of my life. while i wait, i will continue working towards being a better person, full of compassion, mercy, and love for all my fellow man. i will continue to grow in my faith and be a blessing to this world.
meanwhile tonight, while He raised me up to be NEW and restored peace to my life...in His faultless plans, he has called a young sister in Christ home. my soul weeps over the loss of nicole.
LORD COMPASSIONATE FATHER, WE COME BEFORE YOU WITH MIXED EMOTIONS. ON ONE HAND, WE REJOICE IN YOUR PROMISE OF EVERLASTING LIFE KNOWING SHE IS WITH YOU...ON THE OTHER WE MOURN THE PASSING FROM THIS LIFE OF YOUNG NICOLE. JEHOVAH SHALOM, PLEASE BLESS HER FAMILY AND LOVED ONES WITH YOUR COMFORT. REVEAL TO ALL WHO LOVED HER THE PLAN YOU HAVE FOR HER EARTHLY LIFE. HELP US TO SEE YOU IN TIMES OF SORROW. FOR HOLY HOLY HOLY ARE YOU LORD. AMEN.