christmas catch up

i was unable to post for a while because i had so many things going through my mind. don't get me wrong, i have written a lot of posts, but i have not made them public. i have spent the last few months in contemplation. grappling with our new life and trying to make sense of the pain our adopted daughters had endured before joining our family. God continues to grow a new heart in this girl.

besides, raising four daughters ranging from 11-14 years old is a feat! i was fearful we i would not be able to survive the holidays. with nine standing therapy appointments of different disciplines each week, how would we find the time to celebrate properly? when would i get out shopping? how were we going to afford gifts for everyone in our family? all the questions took over for a bit, until i figured out that HE knew what it would look like and it would be prefect.

i reread my Christmas post from last year. you can see it here... http://www.provided4.blogspot.com/2011/12/santa-confessions.html

and it dawned on me that last year was a season of charity and love. we were going without many things so that we could save to bring the children home. we gave to several charities as a way of giving back what we were being given.

but this year saw us on the recipient end of some powerful charity and love.

i got a call from our children's hospital about an Adopt-A-Family program. were we interested in applying? after some consideration we decided to do it. hadn't i been wondering how Christmas would turn out? wasn't this God saying, "I got this"? 

a week before Christmas the hospital called again to say come get your presents. i imagined getting some gift cards to buy what the children had put on their lists. NO! it was exactly what each child had asked for. each gift was lovingly selected and generously purchased. i sat in my room surrounded by a mountain of presents weeping over the provision. i wondered if the company who had donated all this bounty knew what a difference they were making? could they ever know the scope?

there were even gift cards for the adults!

as the days crept closer to Christmas Eve, other people stepped up to shower us with Christmas love. we received a wooden train that the kids say will be part of the tree decorations from now on, about a dozen freshly felled pheasants, a lasagna, a pan of enchilada's, various sweets and homemade candy, and even a check for gas money to get us to Florida next month, all from  members and employees of the club my hubby works for. i was dumbfounded. why would all these people care about us so much?

then i knew. He said He had this. my God was providing for us. the material things were not as important as the feelings of love, protection, and peace i received.

Jesus was born into humble beginnings. i recently heard that it was so quiet and humble the night of the birth that the angles had to go ahead and tell people what happened. i never looked at it that way. Christmas should be quiet and humble. it is not about trimmings and excessive gifts.

so this is how our scaled back Christmas went...

Christmas Eve was childrens' service at church. E and A each played a piano piece for the student musician concert. a lovely service it was! 

we always open one gift on Christmas Eve. the children opened footsie jammies. they were so excited-nearly tackling each other on the stairs to be the first to put them on.

Christmas morning was lazy and calm. the children opened their stockings and each of the four gifts under the tree. most of them were from the generous people at LAZ Parking from the Adopt-A-Family program. so blessed.

S is excited by her first stocking ever

 

 E is thrilled with her Manga pens

 A found her orange

B exploring her newly made stocking(yes, i was up to the wee hours of Christmas Eve finishing it)

 

B was very excited to get a stuffed Luigi doll. she has never really played with any of her toys. she doesn't seem to know exactly how to play. but this guy...she brings him everywhere. to dinner, to family movies snuggled up on the couch, outside sledding...etc. she is learning how to love through a doll. isn't that amazing? we take the simple act of a toddler kissing a teddy bear for granted. but when you see an almost grown child not really know how to do that, it is heartbreaking. 

S quietly said, "i like it." to each gift she opened. 

i reveled in being allowed to be part of their first Christmas. 

the presents were opened and cleaned up in about 10 minutes, but we sat there beaming. everyone was thrilled.

E and A didn't seem to notice that this year was so different from what their past Christmases have been. the running around to each family member's houses, tons of toys, excessive food...you know the "traditional" stuff.

the kids got matching Life Is Good tee shirts from their aunts. that was a big hit too. i think the most joyous gifts were the pjs and tees. there is something to having matching things that bonds children. wondrous.

after lunch, i was suffering from fever and chills, so S, took care of making dinner. good thing we were gifted a beautiful lasagna. 

i did drag myself off the couch to get out Jesus's birthday cake makings. the kids had a blast dumping tons of cake sugar on the cake. little candy balls were rolling off the mountain and onto the floor, skittering into every corner of the room. it was pure mess joy.

even though we didn't do the normal Christmas craziness this year, it was just right. very little upset, time with daddy, time to bond with their sisters, no appointments, no stressed out screaming mommy, no have tos.

we celebrated Christmas with my parents on New Year's Day)they spent Christmas in NE with my sister and her family this year). that was a bit more like how Christmas usually was, but even they were sick and not up for staying to eat the pheasant stew I had made. so that "second" Christmas was quiet too.

after i have seen both ways to celebrate the birth of our Savior. i believe we will do the small version every year. we will focus on love and charity and try to be still and watchful for His Coming.

it seems like this month was a turning point for our family. the transition to a family of six has been hard. but, the love that was shared over this season, had a profound effect on B. she has asked to be baptized.

so we will baptize them this Sunday. if you of mind to pray, please pray that the children would allow Light and Love into their hearts, so that they will go out into the world and extend these things to others. let them be disciples ministering to all nations.

and another...

i finally was able to snag this photo from my adoption sister's blog. they adopted two kids this week. they adopted B's foster sister early in the week and now the second child is officially an orphan no more.

meet beautiful Ashlyn- surrounded by her parents, three of her siblings and a representative from her orphanage.

let's celebrate as One, the redemption of another soul! sing Praise to the Almighty God who keeps His promises and loves us like no other can. He held this family in His protective hands while they journeyed through adoption. He leveled their mountains and made straight their path to their children. He called up the Body to raise the ransom money (they are still fundraising... http://loveisonthemove-hope.blogspot.com/) to make this possible. He provided help and family to care for the children still at home. 

let us continue to pray for their safety while they travel in China over the next 10 days. 

LORD, WE SEE YET ANOTHER FAMILY MADE POSSIBLE THROUGH YOUR GIFTS. YOU HAVE GIVEN REBECCA AND MATT COURAGEOUS HEARTS TO SERVE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN. WE THANK YOU FOR THESE SPECIAL BLESSINGS. WATCH OVER AND PROTECT THEIR TRAVELS. MAKE SMOOTH THE OBSTACLES WHICH THREATEN FAMILY HARMONY. PLEASE TOUCH THEIR ADOPTED CHILDREN'S HEARTS WITH TRUST AND PEACE. PLEASE TOUCH THEIR BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN'S HEARTS WITH PATIENCE, PROTECTIVENESS, AND SELFLESSNESS.  THINGS WILL BE DIFFICULT WHEN THEY TRANSITION BACK HOME. HELP THEM TO STAY FOCUSED ON YOU AND YOUR WILL FOR THEIR LIVES. THANK YOU FOR GIVING US GOOD EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLESHIP TO FOLLOW. HELP US TO LEARN FROM THEM. LET US STAND TOGETHER TO PROCLAIM THE GOOD NEWS. AMEN.

another

rejoice with us...for He has made new another family. He has redeemed another child and set her in a family of faith and love.

we have lifted this special little one up in prayer ever since our darling B asked us to adopt her back in May. she is B's foster sister. through His great wisdom, He had already matched her with a family 1500 miles from us. but distance has no limits within the Body of Christ. He has blessed these two mothers and two sisters with a connection that will last a lifetime.  

B's foster sister has a forever family. Praise God! her MeiMei is safe and loved.

Gotcha Day with her mama and her big sister

this is my favorite photo. see her surrounded by love and acceptance? imagine being in the midst of that love. i cannot exalt Him enough or thank Him for our extended family.

they have another Gotcha today. their second adopted daughter may even be in their arms right now.

help us surround this family with prayers of peace, protection, love, and patience as they graft two more into their existing six.

one by one we can make the word orphan obsolete! i know we can!

GRACIOUS LORD, I AM AWED ONCE AGAIN. YOU NEVER FAIL TO AMAZE AND DELIGHT ME WITH YOUR WAYS. THANK YOU FOR GIVING TWO MORE CHILDREN FAMILIES TO LOVE THEM. PLEASE GUIDE THEM WITH WISDOM AND PROTECTION ALONG THEIR JOURNEY OF DISCOVERY. COMFORT THEIR FAMILY BACK AT HOME AND BLESS THEIR TRAVELS. HELP THEM TO STAY FOCUSED ON YOU AND YOUR PLANS. WE THROW OURSELVES AT YOUR MERCY, KNOWING THE PLANS YOU HAVE FOR US ARE GOOD AND PERFECT. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU JESUS. THANK YOU FOR OPENING THIS FAMILY'S EYES AND RELEASING THEM FROM THEIR CHAINS OF BLINDNESS. AMEN.

one more one less

our friends are currently in China adopting their second daughter. we are so excited and privileged to witness another family growing in faith and love!

introducing the newest member of our "faith family"...

juliana with her little sister hailie and mom kathy

(oh, how we remember that couch!)

please help us to lift them up in prayer...

LORD GOD. HOW AMAZING YOU ARE! WE LOOK AND SEE ALL THE WONDERFUL GIFTS YOU GIVE TO US DAILY. IN YOUR PERFECT WISDOM YOU CREATE FAMILIES TO GLORIFY YOU AND STAND WITNESS YOUR GREAT LOVE. HOW CAN WE EVER EXPRESS OUR GRATITUDE FULLY? HELP US TO CONTINUE TO CHAMPION THE LESSER OF US AND TAKE CARE OF OUR NEIGHBORS. WE MARVEL AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR STEVE AND KATHY'S FAMILY. PLEASE GUARD AND PROTECT THEM WHILE TRAVELING WITH THEIR TWO PRECIOUS CHILDREN. WE HUMBLY ASK THAT YOU SEND YOUR HOLY SPIRIT TO JULIANA SO THAT SHE MAY KNOW YOU. SHAKE THEIR MOUNTAINS SO THAT NOTHING STANDS IN THEIR WAY OF COMPLETE BONDING AND DEVOTION TO LIVING YOUR WORD. IN THIS ADVENT SEASON WE STAND WATCH AND PREPARE THE WAY FOR JESUS'S COMING. WE LIFT UP ALL THE FAMILIES WHO STILL LIVE SEPARATED WAITING TO BE UNITED THROUGH THE GIFT OF ADOPTION. COMFORT THEM IN THIS TIME AND HELP THEM TO SEE THAT THEY TOO ARE PREPARING THE WAY FOR NEW LIFE THROUGH JESUS. THANK YOU JESUS FOR COMING TO MAKE ALL THINGS NEW. WE REJOICE IN BEING ABLE TO COME TO YOUR FATHER THROUGH YOUR PERFECT GIFT. WE BASK IN THE LIGHT YOU SHINE ON US AND ARE GRATEFUL. THANK YOU DEAR GOD. AMEN.

where we are

i haven't a clue on how to share what we have been experiencing this week. but i think i should.

a couple of days ago, i spoke on the phone to B's foster sister's adoption momma. they are in process to adopt two children. she shared on her blog and also on the phone with me, about all the hard stuff she is hearing about adoption lately. it is daunting. of course, she expects tough, but it is really hard facing the unknown.

last year at this time, i was feeling similar things. my mind played out all sorts of scenarios, but mostly i prayed that whatever our new lives would look like, that God would be with us. the only way for us to get through the process is to place everything in His mighty hands.

 i expected hard stuff...

just not this kind of hard stuff. it has been HARD.

we spoke of if we should blog or share the bad. some adoption blogs get strangely quiet after re-entry(coming home after adopting the child) and all that gets posted are happy photos of vacations, holidays, birthdays, and first day of school pictures.

i am not saying that it is a bad thing, but these families must be having growing pains. we are talking about placing institutionalized children into homes of "wealth." institutional behaviors are distinctly different than children in established families behaviors. integrating these children is not something you can be completely prepared for until you do it.

so are these writers afraid to share? not willing to be the downer? unable to speak it? protecting their child's personal story? trying not to scare off yet to adopt families? concerned about others deeming it appropriate? simply too busy?

i have caught flack about some of my posts. i have offended some people too. i remind them that my blog is my faith book/online diary. it is not just an online scrapbook. others choose the style which suits them. this is mine.

still, i have been fearful of sharing some things. do people think that what i have shared is the whole story? trust me, i promise you, this...i do sugar coat.

i have gotten criticism for sharing certain information. i am told that their story belongs to them and that i have no business splashing their business about. BUT, isn't it my story too?

so bloggy friends and family who like to feel connected to us through my blog updates. i apologize. i do not know how to blog without saying the hard stuff. i feel like a hypocrite posting happy pictures.

i wrote this blog entry several months ago. yes, this one. i never made it public. it sat in my draft box. i only needed to get the feelings out. i didn't NEED to share my crazy life with everyone else i told myself. 

but, here i sit months later, feeling totally unplugged from all my support systems. my support group which i purposely established last year before the kids came home, has fizzled. perhaps the other members are just as much in the weeds as i am. perhaps they are fine and don't realize i am drowning most days. how could they know? we don't meet anymore. i am not blogging my reality. i put on a happy smile hoping people will not ask how things are going. 

they don't really want to know, right? when people ask, it is them being polite?

imagine the looks on their faces if i said, "glad you asked! i spend most of my days trying to piece together a medical history for two children who apparently had no existence before coming to America, my bio-kids are traumatized from the adoption, my marriage is strained, and i spend 10-15 hours in medical and therapeutic appointments every week. so, enough about me, how are you? 

what would they say if they saw this??



what is this? my calendar of course. over 27 appointments in october. we have 6 standing therapy appointments every week and then add in two or three medical appointments and it makes for a crazy week. this week we have only nine. i had to cancel two. more than ten is my limit.

don't even get me started about home schooling. home schooling will have to wait. we do some school on the road, some in waiting rooms, and sprinkle our off days with math lessons. but, honestly? this year we are trying to survive. i am raising saints-not scholars(at least i am telling myself that). if they get to 18 and can read and compute math, we will call it a success.

i didn't want to share originally because i am not complaining, but some will see it as just that. i am afraid others will say, "well, what did you expect? you adopted two older special needs children. others have it worse."

i agree some do. some of these "even worse" people are my close friends. does it negate what we are experiencing?

we had a hard trip to China. i blogged some of it, but not all. when people heard our story, they replied, "oh. i have no reason to complain, your trip was worse." it doesn't mean that the easier didn't impact or stress them. we all should have our experiences honored and respected.

look people! this isn't a contest of how hard our lives are. stop making it that. as a community we should be able to honestly share and not be afraid others will feel diminished or lash out with negativity.

i cannot promise i will be back to blogging consistently. i cannot promise i won't hide behind happy photo posts. all i am requesting is that people accept that adoption is difficult. adoptive parents weren't signing up for easy. many of us were called by God to this mission. did the apostles have it easy? no they were stoned, crucified, imprisoned, beaten...all to spread the gospel.

adoptive parents are living the gospel out loud even if we are not aware of it. we are called to take care of widows and orphans. we are called to die to ourselves, so that others may live. adoption is about redemption. it is about loss. it is about loving in a whole different way.

one last thought. i was sitting at Thanksgiving dinner and someone stated they could never adopt- i was horrified. it hurt. my heart was broken. they witnessed my children's first Thanksgiving. they saw the beauty of families growing, yet they miss the point. it is NOT about us. we are but instruments of God. my family's lives have been blessed far more from these orphans than we have blessed theirs.

would i do it again if i knew what my life would look like? yup. would i adopt again. oh, please God, let it be so. will it be hard? you betcha. but, oh, to stand in the presence of God at work. why would i want to miss out on that?

rise up God's people. support each other. love the lesser of us. and don't for one minute think that the blogs that have gone "quiet" are just from busy families. i assure you, they are probably in the weeds. lift them up in prayer. call them if you know them. ask if you can bring over a meal. send a "thinking of you" card. send them links to other blogs.

that is just what my friend, J, did today. she sent me a blog post on this subject and knew it was what i needed. http://cheaperbythehalfdozens.blogspot.com/2012/11/in-which-i-blog-againand-ask-you-favor.html

so now this goes public. please love us, pray for us, champion the orphan/adoptive families. 

HEAVENLY FATHER. YOU HAVE CALLED US TO CARE FOR THE ORPHAN. MANY OF YOUR DISCIPLES HAVE DONE JUST THAT. SOME HAVE DONATED GOODS AND MONEY. SOME HAVE ADOPTED. SOME HAVE PRAYED. WE PRAISE YOU FOR YOUR EVERLASTING LOVE AND PROVISION. I LIFT UP THE FAMILIES STRUGGLING TO FIND SOLID FOOTING. PLEASE SHOW THEM THAT YOU ARE THE ROCK ON WHICH ALL THINGS FIND SOLACE. FILL US WITH YOUR GRACE AND LOVE. WE EXALT YOU FOR ALLOWING US TO BE REDEEMED AND MADE NEW EACH DAY. THANK YOU FOR CALLING US TO BE YOURS AND GIVING US THE GOOD GIFT OF FAMILY. WE ARE NOTHING APART FROM YOU. SO BECAUSE OF THIS, I THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING I AM AND MY CHILDREN ARE. WE LOOK TO YOU WITH JOYFUL EXPECTANCY OF THE PLANS YOU HAVE MADE TO PROSPER OUR FUTURE. YET, THERE ARE STILL MILLIONS OF CHILDREN WITHOUT FAMILIES. MERCIFUL GOD, TOUCH MORE COUPLES WITH THE CALL. PLEASE MAKE THE TERM ORPHAN OBSOLETE. I PRAY FOR EACH CHILD AROUND THE WORLD WHO IS SITTING ALONE AND HUNGRY, WITHOUT HOPE, WITHOUT KNOWLEDGE OF YOU. PLEASE SEND COMFORT, PROVISION, AND HELP TO THEM. ABBA HEAL THIS WORLD. FORGIVE OUR SELFISHNESS AND ATROCITIES WE HAVE COMMITTED AGAINST YOUR CHILDREN. BREAK OUR HEARTS FOR THE FATHERLESS. TEAR THE BLINDING SCALES FROM OUR EYES. MOVE US TO ACT. I LAY ALL THESE REQUESTS AT THE FOOT OF THE CROSS. WE ASK THIS AND ALL THINGS THROUGH JESUS.  AMEN. 



who likes a nor'easter?

i can think of two Chinese children that do! this is the first time they have ever seen snow. we were out shopping for Thanksgiving baskets when the snow started. all four girls ran outside to catch giant flakes on their tongues. the people in the check out line were looking at them like they were crazy, until i explained that it was their first snow(well, the Chinese children that is). then the people smiled the biggest grins ever. one lady even got tears in her eyes as she exited the store to witness my four children laughing and giggling on the store sidewalk. pure magic.

we got home and dug out the snow clothes. everyone has grown since last year, so we had to piece together enough sets to fit everyone. there were hats, scarves and mittens everywhere!

here is the ragtag crew ready to go out and conquer the nor'easter...

first order of business...snowball fight!!



i would have thought that the cold would've chased them back in after five minutes(i came in after two), but they are busy making snow angels and snow men. i better go get some hot cocoa going. i think i am going to have four frozen kiddos dropping soggy snow gear all over my kitchen floor soon! ugh! did i really say four sets of snow clothes?? good thing i have a new giant capacity dryer with a ten year warranty.

halloween's revenge: a cautionary tale

the quiet voice inside me has been leading us me to stop celebrating halloween.

total bummer.

i have always loved halloween. decorations, costumes, pillow cases heavy with candy, parties with doughnuts and caramel apples and cider.  fake spiderwebs everywhere. the sound of crunchy leaves underfoot-shuffling up to the next doorway. anticipation of shouting trick-or-treat...hoping it might be a full sized bar this time.

i love everything about it. especially the costumes. my mother hand made all our costumes growing up. she would make anything we wanted. smurfette, strawberry shortcake, mermaid, gypsy, unicorn, little bo peep,  i carried on the tradition with my children. i sewed many costumes over the years. snow white, belle, cats, leopards, sheep, dr suess characters, even a green m&m costume.  

the last few years i have been feeling that God tug. the quiet whisper, "this isn't for you." i tried denying it. no God...why??? but i love halloween!(whiny voice)

i would try to give it up. ok? i caved and made costumes last year, but to our my delight the storm and resulting 8 day power outage became the scapegoat for not partaking in the festivities...not me. 

i have heard other Christians make their case for not "doing" halloween. i understand. i cannot claim this to be my view. i just know that when the voice speaks...i listen. i am a brat and sometimes do not listen right away. but if i don't, He gets all up in my face-like He did with the adoption. He is speaking to me not to celebrate halloween in the traditional american sense. He hasn't told me why. kinda wish He would.

have you guessed that our children are bummed God is speaking to mom on this one? i did not make any costumes this year. i blamed it on the kids being too old and besides, why get S and B amped up if i know God is not going to be quiet on this one? this past weekend when Superstorm Sandy rolled through, i told the children that again halloween probably wouldn't be happening anyway. E exclaimed in typical tween drama fashion, "see? God does hate halloween!" 


i never said that. i only know it is not for us anymore. i do not judge those that still enjoy the whole package. i admit i was achingly jealous of my friends taking their kids out tonight. (the storm didn't knock our power out. God wasn't going to give me an out two years in a row!)

but how do i break up with halloween? i still love it?

i did allow everyone to carve pumpkins. i couldn't see a reason why i had to rip that unmade memory from S and B's grip. i already nixed the decorations, costumes, and trick-or-treating. even daddy carved his first.  

oh. but it didn't take halloween long to break up with me. it must have heard i was working on an exit strategy and it struck first. rotten holiday.

i arrived home from 5 hours of farming tonight with a full bladder(the farm outhouse is not fun in 50 degree weather) only to step stocking-footed onto a soggy/sloshy rug. the bathroom flooded? what the??? where is it coming from? were the kids playing in the sink again?

i went downstairs to look for veggies for dinner and the basement floor was soaked. puddles everywhere. the whole floor and 12 unopened rolls of paper towels. all soaked. guess they are not quite absorbant enough. 

i ran back upstairs to recheck the bathroom and smelled my entree burning-my pork roast-overdone and shrunken down to a tiny roll stuck to the bottom of my crock pot.

after i turned off my roast jerky, i popped a gianormous, what i thought was an acorn squash from the farm (no one knew what it was-they called it mystery squash) into the microwave to cook while i attempted to find the leaky culprit. 

with phone in hand, trying for the thirteenth time in five minutes to get my husband at work, i crawled all over the bathroom, mopping up the mess. halloween sucks i muttered.

ack! did it hear me? oh no... i think it heard me!

i noticed my neighbor pulling into the driveway and asked him to help me find the leak. he took off his nice jacket and poked around in the ceiling. as he pulled on some insulation, at least five gallons of cold water came dumping down on him. it just poured and poured all over the floor. after continued searching and repeated dousings, we gave up. (his jacket stayed dry...he must not have made halloween angry)

i had to get dinner on the table. i had to stop the water. what to do first?!? 

dinner. kids are hungry.

uh-oh. call CSI:SVU (special veggie unit) something happened to monster squash. ew...looks like brains splattered all over.

mystery solved. spaghetti squash. picture does not show the scope of the explosion.

two dinner elements ruined. better play it safe and just reheat the potatoes i made up in case of power failure. i first forgot to hand smash them and so when i turned on my mixer, chunks of potato sailed up into the air and came splashing down  in the kids' milks i had just poured. add milk to potatoes-do not mix up the order. ugh!

i hand smashed them. i know better. i should get a more appropriate bowl too. (i ignore my voice all the time) nah. everything will be fine. turn on mixer. mixer bounces, up, down, and then seizes up. it actually bounced out of the bowl and landed straddling the bowl with a metal death grip. i think i may have discovered this year's hottest kitchen must have. ta-dahhh...the betty crocker bear trap!

i leave the mess and unceremoniously serve up potatoey milk, spaghetti squash scraped off the microwave ceiling, chunky mashed potatoes, and terriake crockpot jerky. all i say to the shell shocked faces looking at me is, "if you think you have a glimmer of hope to stay up and watch 'Its the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' then all four of you will eat that scary mess without a sound."

they ate and then ran off to watch the television special. see halloween? i haven't completely banned you.

not good enough. halloween is still mad. i  had to brake the beaters (like trying to pry off a pit bull's locked jaws) to extricate the mixer from the poor bowl. ugh. then while washing dinner dishes, the dishwasher backed up nasty water all over the dishes that i had already washed and rinsed. then, dirt made a huge mess all over my newly washed floor when i put my veggie harvest away. so all the housework, cleaning the kitchen and bathroom, i spent hours doing yesterday is now undone!

now i am tried, wet, dirty, hungry(my jerky only fed four), defeated. halloween really sucks. but wait!!!

still i Praise God. thank you, Lord. i have electricity to explode squash, i have running water even if it floods my house, i have shelter from the cold, fresh organic veggies packed in my fridge, money enough to pay a plumber, a half bath upstairs so we still can use an indoor toilet, oh yeah, and a couple of awesome friends who love us enough to drop off a giant bowl of candy to my deprived children during the Charlie Brown special. every kid needs to gorge on candy while watching Charlie Brown. we are provided for. God has given us everything we need. we are not missing out.

so, how do you break up with a holiday you still love? i still don't know. i am glad my other favorite holidays celebrate Jesus though. i shouldn't ever have to break up with another one again. 

but this i did learn: whatever you do...don't let it break up with you first.

may God bless your All Saints day.